Tuesday, August 9, 2011

(Not) In The Know

This is Victoria. There aren't as many little girls who look like my daughter as little boys who look like my son, but little Victoria is closest.

Victoria is another "additional child" at the bottom of the Reece's Rainbow list for Russia Region 6. So there's not much I can tell you about her. I can tell you that she's four and will be five soon. It looks like she likes dolls. She's clearly beautiful. Since RR doesn't say otherwise, presumably she is listed because she has Down Syndrome.

I don't know what medical issues she has, what she's been through in her life, what kind of orphanage she's in, or if she has been transferred. I don't know much about her personality; the site lists her "character" as "contact, calm." I am guessing "contact" means she interacts well with others, as opposed to avoiding or ignoring attempts at contact with her.

I know that Victoria needs a mommy and daddy and doesn't have them. I know that she has brown hair and brown eyes.

Not knowing anything about the child who will one day be your son or daughter is a big thing. But maybe you saw Victoria's picture and knew she was your daughter, and none of that really seems to matter. If that's true, you can commit to her on Reece's Rainbow.

I didn't know that much about my kids when I got them, after all. No one offered me the choice of a little boy who didn't have food allergies and slept through the night starting at 2 months when I found out I was 12 days pregnant with my son. I'm glad they didn't, because I am so thankful to have my little boy in my life. I didn't get to pick what color hair and eyes my little girl had, and decide whether she had unusually shaped feet and a condition that would leave her susceptible to urinary tract infections until she outgrew it. Where does one draw the line between the "perfect" child and the child with "special needs"? How many of us have no medical, emotional, or social "special needs"? Would you adopt a little girl who had vision problems, emotional health issues, needed a low-carb diet, and had poor impulse control? That was me as a teenager. I'm willing to bet all of us have problems that our parents never signed up for.

I remember that when I held my daughter in my arms the first time, I had expected to know her and did not. For 8 monts I had this little one inside me, knowing I was her mom and she was my daughter, but I didn't recognize her from the pictures I had seen or what I had read about what she might be like. What did I say when I had her? "My little girl!"

Kind of like adoption, isn't it? I never expected perfection. I didn't know whether she would be "normal" or what health concerns she might have. But I knew God had given me this daughter, and I did my best to take care of her, learn about her, and fall in love with her now that she was a baby in my arms that I could see and hear and feel in a new and different way.


  1. She is beautiful! I will try to advocate for her too, I have not seen her yet.

    Thank you for this blog entry, I too hope Victoria will find a family soon.


  2. That is a lovely way of putting it! Our bio kids are rarely just what we expect, and neither can we expect our adopted kids to be. Does that mean we should love them any less or be any less committed? Of course not! They are all such wonderful, interesting surprises!